My online Journal #1

I left home at the age of 24; feeling excited, immortal and unstoppable. Please don’t laugh, but for an average small-town girl, flying thousands of miles away from home on her own, and for the first time – it was a pretty thrilling experience..

When I watched the landscapes of my motherland from the bird’s point of view; it got me thinking: 

“What the hell am I doing? Do I even want to go to London?” 

Well. It was too late anyway. I was sitting on a plane…And I couldn’t get rid of the picture of my crying mum at the airport. 

Oh, mums..They dramatize it too much sometimes, don’t they?
Don’t get me wrong.. I love my parents – unconditionally. My mum and dad have always been there for me. I am so grateful to grow up in a house full of love. And I return my love too…

but…

I grew up. I wanted to live my own life..

Photo from Unsplash – Becca Tapert

Over the years; my mum made me feel guilty for moving so far away. She won’t stop asking when I am moving back home..She won’t stop asking why I don’t want to move back home..” Are you happy, Anna?” She asks me every time I call her..But you must know that I lead a decent life. I have everything that I need. Well, almost. Or maybe not at all.

I am single and in love with books. I share an apartment with other two girls – younger than me. I don’t care. Well, maybe I do, but they keep my spirit young at least.. Most of my friends are married and have kids. I love kids..And I love babies too..cuddling them..smelling their feet..admiring their tiny hands..

But I like when it’s time for them to go back to their parents..I guess it’s because I never pictured myself being a single mother..Not that I ever wanted to be one, but there is something wrong with the male population lately. Did you notice it too?

The divorced guys want to have cool and child-free girlfriends with hot pictures on Instagram. The single ones don’t want to have kids.

I live in Jane’s shadow…

My job is fine, but I wish they could give me more responsibilities. I am tired of being someone’s assistant at the age of 35. I work for an advertising company; helping with social media content creation..It pays my bills, but all my hard work is credited to Jane..My line manager..I live in Jane’s shadow.

So what does this all mean for me? Never getting married..Never having kids..Never having a proper job..I guess..

Every Saturday, I sit in a leather chair by the window in my local library and skim through romance stories. I escape into my own world and since I don’t have a boyfriend; I date the ones from the books – don’t judge me; it could be lame for you, but not for me.

I have a good social life..Once a week I meet with Liz for a coffee. We work in the same department. She is a graphic designer…And every Saturday evening I have dinner plans with friends..including single girlfriends not only with mum friends who invite me to their homes and we wait for their kids to fall asleep to have a glass of red..And I am pretty active on social media if that counts for being social! Not having hot Instagram pictures, but I love baking..

Pretty dull life story, huh?

Picture from Unsplash – Charles Deluvio

But something weird happened the other day, and I have no one to tell!

My “mum friends” are busy..My “single girlfriends” are probably dating, the two girls I live with went travelling. And I am not calling my mum!

So here I am starting my online journal!

But back to my story..

I was getting hot chocolate like every Thursday after work..I don’t usually eat in, but I did that day for a change..There was a gentleman..I think he was about the age of 60 – grey hair; wrinkled face; wrinkled hands; smart shoes; white-collar top and blue trousers from H&M – I saw those trousers on display the other day. He was sitting there with his laptop; eating a blueberry muffin and typing away..

Nothing weird right until..

He started talking to me. I answered a couple of times because I was polite, and his voice was so soft and calming..no harm..But then he told me the strangest thing..

Oh, hang on..my phone is ringing.. It’s my mum..

Will be right back!

TO BE CONTINUED